Now It's Just Plain Weird
by CGNU Dumples
Summary: After making himself an overnight celebrity doing commercials for Springfield Toyota, Homer decides to run for governor of California. CHAPTER 2 UP!
1. Dude, I Said It Was Free

Now It's Just Plain Weird... A Simpsons Fan Fic by CGNU Dumples  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own or have anything to do with the Simpsons characters, which are copyright whoever holds the copyright. I also have nothing to do with any other brands or characters that may be mentioned here.  
  
Genre: Humor  
  
Rating: PG-13, just in case. Basically for some bathroom humor and mild language, but nothing more than you would see in an episode of the show.  
  
Summary: After making himself an overnight celebrity doing commercials for Springfield Toyota, Homer decides to run for governor of California, finding himself at odds with Marge, who is protesting the joke of an election.  
  
This is my VERY first Fan Fic. Please give me any criticism that you have, even if it's bad. Thanks!  
  
SIMPSONS VERSE: (I put one of these on all my SimpFics) (To the tune of Yankee Doodle) Come on, Simpsons, keep it up Your show is fine and dandy Dear old Matt don't you stop now We're addicted like it's candy.  
  
********************************************************************************************  
  
Simpson Household-  
  
Homer sat at home watching TV, a Duff in one hand and his other hand stuffed into a bag of Pork Rinds. A man in a cowboy hat with a hard Texan accent came on the screen, grinning.  
  
"Do you want to be famous?"   
  
Homer sat up from his slouched position.  
  
"Do you live in Springfield?"  
  
Homer's mouth dropped open.  
  
"Do you want free beer? Then, come on down to the Duff Brewery in Springfield for the new Duff man casting call! Only the first fifty men will be considered." The front door was still swinging back and forth on its hinges as the man finished the sentence.  
  
Duff Brewery-  
  
As Homer's car pulled into the Duff Brewery parking lot, he groaned. Hundreds of people were clustered around the tiny kiosk in front of the brewery. Dejected, Homer sat in his car, parked on the street.  
  
"Why do I always have to be watching the channel that shows these commercials last?" he thought bitterly. Then something caught his eye.  
  
Across the street was another kiosk. A man was sitting bouncing a tennis ball against the side of the kiosk. The sign over it read "Casting Call: Springfield Toyota".  
  
"Toyota Beer?" thought Homer. He walked across the street.  
  
"So, what'cha selling?" asked Homer.  
  
"Free opportunities to be on TV," replied the man.  
  
"I'll take it!" cried Homer, throwing down a wad of cash.  
  
"Dude, I said it was free."  
  
Springfield Toyota-  
  
Homer had locked himself in a stall in the men's bathroom.  
  
"Homer, come on out. There's no need to be embarrassed," said the commercial producer.  
  
"Yes there is. I'm not coming out."  
  
"Homer, you don't get paid unless you come out. And if you don't come out within thirty seconds, your salary is cut in half."  
  
Homer paused for a few seconds, fuming at the producer.  
  
"Well, okay."  
  
Homer stepped out of the stall in a giant cow costume, complete with a rubber udder. The producer made a strange grunting noise and covered his face with his hand. 


	2. That's My Dad, The Financially Inept Cow

********************************************************************************  
  
Simpson Household-  
  
"Come on! Come on! It's almost time!" shouted Marge, Maggie in her arms. Bart and Lisa ran down the stairs.  
  
"I can't wait to see my dad humiliate himself on national television!" said Bart.  
  
The whole Simpson family gathered around the television. Homer was silently sobbing into his hand.  
  
On the TV, a huge pick-up came over a big rocky hill. A man in overalls and a red-plaid shirt appeared at the bottom of the screen.  
  
"Howdy there! I'm Farmer Bob and boy, have I got a great deal for you! This summer at Springfield Toyota, you can milk this great deal for all it's worth!"  
  
Homer appeared in the cow suit dancing and singing, "You can milk it this summer at Springfield Toyo-TA!! MOOOO!!!"  
  
Marge switched off the TV as Bart and Lisa clapped.  
  
"You were so funny, Dad!" said Lisa.  
  
"You really think so?" asked Homer as he wiped away his tears.  
  
"Yeah, you can make some serious dough off this," said Bart. "Hey, how much money did you make?"  
  
"Umm....nbubumm," said Homer.  
  
"Sorry, didn't catch that. What?"  
  
"None," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"NONE, ALRIGHT?!"  
  
"Oh my God. That's my dad, the financially inept cow."  
  
Although Homer was extremely embarrassed, the next day at work turned out to not be a disaster like he had envisioned. On the contrary, it was one of his best days at the nuclear power plant. Carl and Lenny held a party for him - with nothing but beer mixed with milk to drink - and decorated the whole plant, going so far as to paint one of the reactors white with black spots.  
  
Everyone in Springfield grew to love Homer the Cow. He did more commercials for Springfield Toyota, sometimes joined by Bert the Horse and Ralph the Ass (neither of which was very popular). Homer found himself hoarded by autograph-seekers every time he got out of the car. Steve Kroft did a story on him and his background for 60 Minutes (although it never aired). In time, Homer became a well-recognized celebrity.  
  
Bart got more respect from the kids at school as well, sometimes being forced to bring in autographs. Once on the playground, two younger kids were fighting.  
  
Bart went up to them and pushed them apart.  
  
"Don't have my dad, man," he said and walked away coolly, the two kids in awe at being touched by a Simpson.  
  
Homer also had a few hundred glossy eight-by-tens printed up and spent an entire night signing them all. Apu took them and sold them at the Kwik-E-Mart for a buck apiece. They sold like hotcakes.  
  
Marge was certainly happy for Homer, but she began to think that he was getting in over his head when he came home one day with his car painted white with black spots and COW-MOBILE written on the hood. But if she had known what was coming, she would have not given a damn about the car. 


End file.
